learning to say i love you, anew,

as if studying a foreign language,

cautious and humble.

words begin, not as words,

as sensation in my body

warm, soft, rushing flushes,

when you are near,

magnetic desire

to be close

to touch

to absorb

to immerse.

the words, still not words,

a glowing pulse

rising up from the earth between us

into my roots

into my chest

into my throat.

the words, still not words,

too tender to speak

express instead

through my eyes

my lips

my non-verbal tongue

my hands

express in opening

to receive

and to listen

to know you

to share

to dance with you.

i am learning new definitions of love,

after all these years,

after abuse co-opted love’s meaning and purpose,

after i abandoned trust in myself and others.

i am learning now

how to allow love to grow

at love’s pace

emergent

slow

adaptive

wild

plural.

i am learning, also, patience,

compassion.

i am learning to consider all the ways

i already communicate my love.

do you hear it?

do you feel it?

do you see it?

do you smell and taste it?

i am learning to trust

when the moment is ripe

i will sing the poetry

of our love out loud.