you feel time expand and contract,
disintegrate and reconfigure
around and within you.
you have been losing,
you wonder if the experience of having
was an illusion.
you have lost loved ones.
some left you crawling on your knees
clawing at the earth
weeping and wailing into the sky.
some, you cut loose
for growth and healing.
others simply floated away, quietly,
seeds scattered on the wind.
you have become so comfortable with loss,
you have forgotten how fullness feels,
how it feels to be held by,
how it feels to be with,
bodies of others.
sitting for hours on end,
in the shade of your overgrown apple tree
you observe the garden that claimed you.
you become silence
surrounded by sound.
you become wordless
in a mind shaped by language.
you are a vessel of breath
dispersing thoughts that want to devour you.
you await inspiration, or instruction,
a moment of wonder…
perhaps the canyon carved into your heart
is an opening into infinity,
for the greatest love of all.